Don’t blame yourself for feeling you can’t get the hang of dementia care. One of the few certainties about dementia is that the ground keeps shifting for caregivers.
Just when you adjust to a “new normal” routine or way of getting something done, a novel symptom renders it obsolete and forces you to figure out another way of getting through.
Each shift can feel like a new loss to mourn. To find the strength to keep going forward, try to channel that grief into action:
1. Brainstorm fresh solutions with members of a dementia support group or a social worker; they may help you see a fresh approach.
2. Post questions in online groups describing a new symptom or situation to hear what’s worked for others.
3. Talk to friends to offload your frustration. It’s actually good to talk about these feelings; even if your pal can’t truly understand or relate to dementia care, he or she will be able to commiserate about how challenging life can sometimes be. You could even preface the talk by saying you’re not looking for answers, only stress-release.
4. Refuse to be blocked by a new impediment; search for the way around it.
5. Remember that there isn’t such a thing as the perfect or even “correct” way to manage dementia care, precisely because there’s so much change and so much individuality. You can only do the best you can do, and flexibility and creativity will help you achieve that goal.